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It is this insecurity that makes us sound gruff and uncaring when it comes to improving our appearances. Surely you do not want the person to remember you for your credentials or your designation. When we talk about dating in the very finest sense of the word, please understand that dating is not to be viewed as a precursor for sleeping together. So in effect, a single correspondence would stretch over a week. The best thing you cold do is send the person an e-mail telling him or her that he or she was not really what you had in mind, but you would like to remain good friends all the same.
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You were perfectly charming and so on. Mind you, the lines should not be about the person, but about general topics like friendship, relationships, togetherness, warmth, or meetings. It should be someone you can share your dreams and fears with, someone who understands, someone who can give your hand a gentle squeeze when things go wrong and someone who can brighten up your darkest day. Think about yourself in a different way.
1. As discussed earlier, we are not going to resort to singles chat rooms dedicated specifically to online dating. Instead we will be in chat rooms of specific interest. So one very effective way of finding out if a person is lying would be to ask the person very pointed questions about the area of interest. If the person fumbles or gives vague answers then you do not have to waste your time on such a person.
2. Another thing that you could do is that from the moment you first make contact, jot down whatever details the person chooses to reveal to you and in subsequent encounters nonchalantly question the person about the details, if there is a contradiction in the two details then you can be as sure as pat that the person is lying.
3. Ask the person seemingly general questions but which in fact should have a very definite purpose, for example ask the person what he or she is looking for in such a relationship. Note down the answer. After two or three encounters again repeat the question and see whether the two answers match.
4. You could try pretending that you have chatted with the person before and innocently ask the person if he or she is such and such person (make something up) and try offering compliments to the person like, I really enjoyed chatting with you the other day. You were perfectly charming and so on. If the person falls for cheap flattery like this, then obviously he or she makes it a hobby to chat with people under various identities.
And so the chatting goes on until the person really grows on you. When you feel that you can really trust the person, you may try giving the person your telephone number. Remember that this too is a giant leap towards building a relationship so its better that you be sure than sorry.
The safest thing you can do about telephone numbers is to mutually exchange it preferably at the same time, so that neither party is at a disadvantage. Its really no big deal, you can afford to tell the person that you are just being wary, the person will understand. If he or she does not, then there is a good chance that he or she will not understand a lot of other things as well. In that case, dump the person.